Yesterday afternoon’s plan was for me to meet Heather Locklear on the city bus that would take us to her house, and from there we’d get her car and then run to MOA-sister time-AAAAAWWWWWWW. When I arrived at the bus stop I started my usual “bus routine” – get out my mp3, maybe my book, make sure my wallet is still in my purse, apply some lip shine and make sure my glasses are streak free. Mid-routine, I look up as a woman approaches the stop. What I immediately notice is the seductive way the woman looks me up and down; her eyes seeming to linger on each section of my body from my legs, to my hips, to my chest, and finally my face. So, she sits down, still staring at me with her light brown contacts, pokes her glossy lips out and says ”Can I ask you a question?”. I don’t know why but I was immediately a little nervous. Maybe it was the way her eyes felt like fingers crawling along my skin. I backed up a little and responded, “uh I guess”. She rubbed her hand along her thigh and said “Are you bi-sexual?” Whoa Sista!
Did she just ask me what I think she asked? WTH! “No.” Persistent chick that she proved to be, she then asked, “Haven’t you ever fantasized about being with a woman? Aren’t you curious?” I’m sure (I hope) my face was poker straight, while my “in my head voice” was screaming at the top of its lungs, when I responded “Not even bi-curious.” I then immediately moved further away and put my earphones in and stuck my face in my book. The problem was I could still feel her eyes crawling over every exposed part of my body. Above my book I saw her waving her hands back and forth trying to get my attention. “What now?” I thought to myself? “Is she gonna ask me to go behind the bus shelter?”
“You got more gum?” she says. I pull out a piece and reach to hand it to her but then thoughts of her rubbing my hand as she takes the gum flash into my head. I hold the gum by the tippy end and quickly slip it between her fingers. Music back on, I take up my spot on the other side of the shelter. Soon other people join us at the stop and I begin to relax a bit.
“The son’s” response when I told him about my encounter was “She was bold. Was she cute?” Did he think I shoulda invited her home? What?
1 comment:
THAT is too MUCH!
While you are a hot mamma - I have never ever thought about you or Jowell or any of my girlfriends in THAT WAY!
I wish I could have seen your face when she asked you that question and what was up with 'the son's' question - too funny!
MD
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