So, the other day I got on the bus and grabbed a seat on the aisle. I HATE sitting on the aisle so I looked around to try and get a feel of any "window seat sitters" that looked like they would be getting off of the bus soon. Imagine my surprise when I looked across the aisle and one row back was Secret Agent Man. I immediately went into a panic as I tried to figure out how to get close without coming across a stalker. "Gotta get a picture, gotta get a picture", I thought to myself. I know you're dying to find out what hue of the rainbow he choose for a warm, sunny fall day. As not to disappoint, he choose a powder blue jacket and matching pants ensemble, maybe to match the sky. As I begin to panic worried that he would get off the bus and I would miss my shot, lady luck smiled down on me and the person in the row ahead of him exited the bus. I leaped into the seat, pulling my bag and lunch behind me and started planning my next paparazzi move. I figured that when I heard him get off I would have a clear view of him - that was if he walked toward the front of the bus. I got my pap camera out a.k.a. cheap, low pixel, camera phone and sat back to wait. "This could my big break. Maybe cracking the mystery of the Secret Agent Man could get me a shot on TMZ" I thought to myself. (Cut away to me on TMZ with my trendy scarf telling Harvey Levine that I found video of Miley Cyrus slobbing down her older boyfriend) But I digress...as I was waiting I heard him open and close the secret agent briefcase. Man, what I wouldn't do to see what was in that briefcase. A few seconds later I actually heard his voice for the first time. It could have almost been as moving as the first time I heard "the boy" speak except for the fact that it kinda freaked me out. His voice is somewhat raspy and creepy - very prank caller like. Once I got over the shock of hearing his voice, I quickly collected myself, so that I could hear what he had to say. Leaning my head back in the seat and turning a little to side I could hear clearly everything he had to say:
"Hi Jane, this is Aaron (OMG! He has the same name as "the boy". Scary!)"
WAH-WAH-WAH (Insert Charlie Brown adult voice sound)
"I just wanted to call and let you know that I'm going to have to cancel for tonight. I really hate to do this but all THREE of my chauffeurs canceled on me tonight."
WAH-WAH-WAH
"Yeah, I'm really sorry. This has never happened before. All three canceling in the same night. I'll talk to you soon. Bye."
What? Are you kidding me? Did he just say his chauffeurs canceled on him? He has chauffeurs?
UGH! So Secret Agent Man is still a mystery!!!!!!!????? Who is this man that wears rainbow brite suits, carries a metal secret agent briefcase, rides the bus everyday and has THREE chauffeurs?? The plot thickens!!!!!
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