The Commute...

As many of you know I have an aversion to driving. So, mornings for me do not involve frustration from traffic jams or incompetent drivers. Most mornings my commute is relaxing. It gives me the opportunity to catch up on my reading, listen to the radio or get in a quick nap. That describes a majority of my mornings. Then there are those mornings that leave me wondering if "going green" is really the way to go when it leaves me seeing red. Now, I will admit that given the time of month I AM extremely sensitive to things that might not normally set me off.

That said, this morning's commute was NOT relaxing. I had every intention of taking a 45 minute nap. I knew as soon as I stepped on the bus that the universe had been thrown off kilter by some malevolent force and that I would NOT be getting my nap. Why was my favorite seat - second row of seats on either left of right hand side (on most buses there is a heater under the left hand seat) - taken? Not only were most of the seats taken, but they were all taken because people that were traveling together decided that each of them needed their own seats rather then seating all together? Obviously, we had some amateur bus riders that did not know the rules of the bus or maybe they were just inconsiderate! OK, I can deal with it I told myself and took the drafty seat right in front of back door. It was upon sitting down that I discovered that the woman sitting in front me - did I mention that when I walked back to take my seat that she had one of her boots off and was picking at her bare feet! (stew on that visual for a minute) - had a peculiar odor. It wasn't quite STANK but it was just unpleasant. I was then grateful for my seat choice because I could simply turn my head toward the window and the frigid winter breeze blowing in from the back door provided me with relief in the form of FRESH air.
So, I sit back and try to relax. But unbeknowst to me, the bus demon is not done with me just yet.

A few blocks later, I am minding my business, trying to concentrate on bringing harmony back to the universe and exorcise the bus demon. My concentration was so great that I was not able to give the evil eye to those people getting on the bus - this sometimes sways them from sitting next to me. Before I knew it a gentleman was preparing to take the seat next to me. As he swung his body around I tried to catch his eye and maybe mean-mug him into changing seats. But it was too late. I watched in horror as he positioned his rather LARGE frame into the seat. Now, here's my dilemma. If it would have been a woman about my size, the rest of my ride may have been rather peaceful. No, not so lucky. This gentleman was obviously some farm feed freak of nature. He was about 6'5" and 220 pounds. He was not a fat man just BIG. So, where does that put me?

Here I am JAMMED into the inside seat! The immensity of his body is completely blocking me in. I feel like a toddler sitting next to an adult. Not only is he blocking out all sound, light and air but my left shoulder and arm are wedged behind his body. I try to shift my body to a more comfortable position but there is no escape. I look around and the all the seats are full. There's no where to go. I take a few deep breathes and try to relax myself but the knot in my stomach is just getting bigger! The winter air blowing on the side of my head isn't even helping. I quickly tell myself that as long as he gets off downtown maybe I can make it. That's about the time that I notice that not only am I losing the feeling in my shoulder and arm but I can feel each and every breath he takes. EEEEEWWWW!!!! Now, in a different situation it might be OKIE DOKE to feel the weight of a man and feel him breathing but let me tell you this AIN'T IT! Oh my goodness, I think I'm going to completely lose it when he pulls out a book and commences to read. He's getting comfortable; he's not getting off!!! My heart starts to race. My pulse pounds through my body. My eyes dart back and forth looking for an escape. Somehow, I make it downtown but he hasn't closed the book or made any indication that he's getting off.

Up ahead I see a seat open up. I gather my bags in my hand and make like I'm getting off the bus. Salvation is only a seat away! To my utter JOY he gets up and moves to the empty seat I was eyeing. I am no longer drowning. I take HUGE gulps of air and try to steady my pulse. The rest of my ride is spent trying to balance my yin with my yang. WOOOOO-SAAAAA!

So, hopefully, I have been punished enough for whatever transgression I may have made against the bus spirits and my ride home will be peaceful. I hoping for that nap. Wish me luck!